More Landscapes!

"A waterfall"

"An old caboose. I love trains."

"Rushing water"

"The river. Anything pretty."

"A cross"

"The Yellowstone River. I like to fish."

"Libby is my home town. I miss everything about it."

"I would like a picture of Dancing Boy, in Arlee, Montana."

Difficult shoot this morning

I got up early to shoot in the morning light today. As the alarm began to bug me while it was still dark out, I considered canceling the shot I was planning this morning. I knew it would be difficult. It would be sad. But as I lay awake thinking how difficult and sad it would be, I realized I was already awake and may as well attack my task at hand.

The grave site is in the children's section of the cemetery. We'd all like to go through life pretending there isn't one of these sections in every cemetery, but there is. The tradition of embedding a photo on the stone has also come back in fashion, so there were little faces looking up from the ground all around me, many too young to yet open their eyes.

"He is the best thing that happened to me in my life. He was my world."

This shot is the best of the two I took. You can see I didn't get the slide all the way out (which hasn't happened to me yet), and the next shoot was enough minutes later that the light became brighter and harsher. Serendipity or perhaps the little boy's spirit itself created a rainbow lens-flare which I couldn't see in person. It was brighter in this shot, so this image is the one.

Day one of shooting outside the prison

Pictograph State Park

A significant part of my project with the women in prison, is my finding images that they miss and long for outside. Some of the women have been very specific about where and why a certain place. It's a little strange, and hard to explain to some of them (they come in, sit, and leave with as little interaction as possible). Others "get it" and have places in mind. Others seem pretty ambivalent about it, but will still provide me a great deal of detail.

The Western Heritage Center where I finally decided to stop drinking/using (1995) in from of the transportation exhibit.

Others are a little more vague, and today I set out on a couple of those. I encouraged them to be bossy with me... tell me the time of day, what's in the picture, the time of year! But I don't think these women are used to asking for what they want, or daring to have a dream of the outside. Many will be out soon, so they aren't thinking too hard about it.

A waterfall. I love nature. Anything pretty.

I was wrestling with a couple requests for the Yellowstone River today. Since I have never been a "serious" landscape photographer, I was challenging myself to go during the good light, morning, or evening/sunset. I knew about a trail that went up on the bluffs over the river, and thought that would be a great spot. Having never walked the trail, I didn't know how far it would be and I arrived at 4PM.

My first mistake was thinking of this a photo trip and not a hike. I don't know why I didn't bring water.

My second mistake was arriving so early. Scouting is good, but I had set myself up for a three hour wait. And I am not a person who is good at sitting and waiting patiently for three hours. But in light of my assignment, to take an image for a woman in prison who has nothing but time, it seemed like an appropriate task.

Somehow, staring at that one view, I became convinced it wasn't going to get pretty. I was very thirsty and sure I was burning, and staring down several hundred feet at the meandering, cool water. It felt like torture. At 6:30, my shadow was stretching across to the next bluff, and I saw a little raft came downstream. I was becoming antsy with fears I wouldn't be able to scramble back up to the trail with all my equipment in the dusk. (I guess I should preface this with the fact I ran into the volunteer park ranger on the way in. He said "Just be very careful. Please stay back from the cliff. Watch where you step and be very careful." Then he told me the story of a woman last week falling in that very area. He said she called him before passing out; then he gave me his phone number, just in case.)

So when I say the long shadows and the raft, I decided to go ahead and take the picture, then started my hike back. As I drove out of the park, the sunlight switched from yellow to gold, the color I had been waiting for. I had been sitting on that cliff for two and a half hours, and had left 20 minutes too soon.

Yellowstone River from Sacrifice Peak with Rafter

I went to the bank of the river to try to get another shot. A nearly-full moon was rising over the bluffs in a pink sky, and the bluffs were blazing in gold over the sky-blue water. I missed the turn, u-turned, got to the fishing-area parking, pulled out my equipment, scrambled down the rocky embankment, all the while, staring at the golden hill, willing it to last just a little longer. I got to the edge of the water, got the tripod up, pulled out the 4x5 camera and discovered the lens board had come off the rails. While I fiddled to get it back on, the golden light disappeared and was replaced by a flat blue light. I took the shot any way, and cursed the boring image it produced.

Moonrise Over Yellowstone River, Ten Seconds Too Late

At least tomorrow I know the moon will be full, and I know where to be at the right time.

More time in jail

I am humbled by my experience today. There are things that happen in life that can lead us to make choices we wouldn't have normally made, and then the world can judge us. While working in the prison, it has not been my intent to find out about any one person's particular crimes. I don't want to know; I don't want to judge. They've been judged already. But a couple times today, there was reference to deep pain, and I was moved.

Two women (I won't tell you which), asked me to photograph grave stones. They wrote on my form that these were people they loved dearly. Later, I was told the prison might not want me to make those images, as the deaths were caused by the inmates. And I hate to say, my curiosity got the better of me. I googled.

One of the deaths read like a self-defense case against a drug-addicted and raging mate. Even in the article, everyone quoted mentioned how in-love they were but how sick he was. She is serving twenty-five years.

Another woman didn't realize how severe injuries given to her child by his babysitter were; she is in jail for fifteen years because she waited five hours before calling 911.

Once you start searching, it's hard to stop. It's like eating three or four pieces of chocolate when you meant to have one or two. What's one more search... Another woman, who wanted a picture of a waterfall, had convinced a man to kill her husband, who had been raping and beating her for years. She was convicted for forty years.

I don't know what to think of these articles. Keep in mind that I am only reporting what I read on newspaper sites, not what the women themselves said. The reporters seem to be grievously lacking in their skills as journalists... I can't figure out how you can report a woman being sentenced for murder while also presenting what seem to be extenuating and unconsidered circumstances, and not point out some huge, if unfixable error in the legal system.

Other women who showed up in a google search had drug charges or "bad check" charges. Some women's names were only related to touching stories about the volunteer work they have been doing while in jail. Most of the women's names didn't bring up a result; their crime and incarceration apparently aren't worth noting online.

When I had lunch in the cafeteria, I saw some of the women I photographed last time . They smiled and waved at me. One is supposed to get out in the next week.

A couple of the younger women were so interested in the photographing process, they stayed with me and helped me get the next sitter ready, running the flashlight over to help me focus the 4" x 5" camera. At one point between sitters, one asked me what I expected it to be like in prison before I came. I laughed and was honest.

"I thought it would be like on t.v. with bars and cells and angry people who would try to shiv me if I turned my back on them."

She laughed too, and said it was actually nice. Since my talk with the Volunteer Coordinator at lunch had included a discussion about the prison's main goal of rehabilitation and education, of teaching women that they have worth and don't need to become the label "felon" when they leave, I could see her point. In some ways, I think lots of people could use training on how to be good members of the community. We all could use education, rehabilitation, and reminders that we are worth something and can be forgiven.

Later, they thanked me for including them in the project, and said, "Please let us know if you need anything else!"

I have a long list of places to visit after today's shoot. The most unusual one is Victoria's Secret.

UPDATE
All the images are now on my website. Check often as I add the landscapes.

Women's Prison

I have just come home from my first photo-shoot in the Montana Women's Prison. The MWP is an unusual prison in that most of its offenders have committed non-violent crimes, such as using stolen checks or drunk driving (one of the more common crimes in Montana; I label this a non-violent crime, as I see more news stories about drunk drivers being caught for the 5th or the 8th time, often with kids in the car, but you seldom hear of a drunk-driving related homicides; I'm sure they do happen and I am sure some of the women in the MWP are there for that reason). Because of the sort of low-violence rate of the prisoners, they have a fair amount of freedom inside the prison, and there is a big emphasis on training, therapy, and education. Each hour, they can move from one place to another, activities they have chosen (other than any court mandated activities, such as AA, etc.). They are only restricted in that they have to go if they signed up, so they are accounted for at all times.

Last year I wrote a grant for some equipment and materials but they arrived late, then summer came, then blah blah... so here I am, beginning what I started to begin in May. When I first went to the prison, I had every anxiety and fear one would expect me to have going into a prison. But I found the women who had signed up to be a part of the project were curious, diverse, creative, and fairly kind. There was a raw honesty to their questions of me. "What made you want to photograph us?"

My experience today was amazing. My equipment is not ideal, so I had to do some wanky things to make it work, and since I was using Instant film, there was this awkward 90 seconds of waiting to see if the image was right before starting another one. They would say, "That looks good," and I would say, "I think we can do better. I'm not happy with ___." Then we would do another and they would say, "oh, that is so much better!" I've promised them all copies of their pictures, and they are excited about receiving them.

I asked each woman to name something she missed outside of prison. (Because of privacy issues and prison policy, I did not include personal homes or family members.) My intention is to photograph that place (or thing) and pair them with the woman who longs for it. I have basically asked these women to give me homework assignments, places that are important to them that I should see. They cannot have the power for me they have for these women, but I will be able to bring the picture back to them.

It feels good to be shooting again.