Wabash College -- Found in local antique shop

I might have to get this. It's just too weird a coincidence.

"Thou bloated, puny, puffed-up offal of divers and sundry high schools of putresence know that you are now attended the sacred and well-loved Wabash College, and that, in so doing, you are to direct your stinking, reeking carcasses and to control the effluvia of your degenerate and weak minks in such a was as to be seemly before your omnipotent elders."

An actual, vintage poster of the rules of the Wabash College hazing rituals.