In case you aren't sick enough...

actually, I'm not. That's the conclusion I came to this morning. I am sick, but not sick enough to call in sick, and not well enough to be fully present in my job. Maybe I am sick enough to call in sick, but I struggled terribly through yesterday, knowing it could go either way, but knowing if I missed today, things would actually start to fall behind.

Do you ever listen to little voices in your head? I mean the non-fever induced ones. Last fall, I decided to replace the two pathetic smoke detectors in my house with five new ones. I was quickly pulled into the cyclone of smoke detector models and features. The last time I bought them, I had bought the cheapest ones possible (to sell my house). This time (to live in my house), I was a little more picky. (Let that be a lesson for you.)

There was a kind that was labeled to be especially for the kitchen. It has some kind of photo-sensor, meaning, it will only go off if there is smoke it can see. In theory, it won't go off as often as a regular one in the case of over-cooked food. Then there was a "dual smoke and carbon monoxide detector". It was a whooping $40 (compared to the $6 ones I put in the house I sold). I had a CO detector in that house too. It was constantly eating up its battery and going off in the middle of the night, despite being the plug-in variety. I got rid of it.

But last fall, I heard a little voice. I should get this one. After much back and forth (I tend to pinch pennies), I talked myself into the expensive thing (just one!) and decided to put it in the living room, central to the house, so I could get my money's worth out of it.

When it went off Saturday morning, my fever having broken the morning before (by then, I had been in bed for a full 60 hours), I bleary-eyed-stumbled to the living room, got on a chair to stare at it. "Beep beep beep beep. Warning. Carbon Monoxide," it insisted. It was loud. I banged on it, somehow not able to hit the "Hush" button. I pulled it off the wall, pulled out the battery, replaced it. I thought, OK, if it goes off again, I'll know it's real. There was lots of text on the back. I could make out "1.....2....3...." but couldn't see what the steps said. The light was dim, and I was bleary-eyed, so I didn't think much of it. I put it back on the wall and went back to bed.

The alarm didn't go off again.

But the little voice nagged me. "Doesn't that freak you out?" Within a few minutes, I had downloaded the user manual to read about the CO detector. Something about how soon it would go off after reading so many parts per million over time. Over time? So it might not go off again for six hours? I got up and opened several windows a crack. The nagging continued.

The manual said, "go outside, and call the fire department, gas company, or a furnace repairer to do an inspection."

Go outside? But I'm sick.

"Symptoms of CO poisoning include headache, dizziness, and nausea."

I have all those. But I also have the flu.

Maybe there is a non-emergency number?

OK, so I call. And I wait outside in the car.

The firemen were very nice and kept insisting it was probably a low battery on my detector. I feebly said, but it has a different voice and number of beeps for a low battery. "Nah, nah, it's probably a low battery." As they stepped into the front door with their own detectors, their own equipment went off. They turned around and came back out. "Yup, you have carbon monoxide. Let's put you on oxygen while we air out your house. We'll get your cats and put them in your car."

Then they asked me about calling someone from somewhere to look for the leak. I couldn't quite fathom what they were talking about. They said, "Want us to call?" and I said, yes.

Later they said the highest concentrations seemed to be in my bedroom. Where I'd spent the last 60 hours. Which is a full 60 feet from the CO detector.

After they aired it out, after the gas inspector couldn't find a leak, after I went to the doctor and had a blood test confirming acute CO poisoning (but not bad enough to stay for more oxygen, unless I wanted to), I went to the hardware store and bought another CO detector for my bed room.