One car down and the Five Stages of Moving

The list if things involved in moving grows with age. Of this, I'm sure. When you first move from home, you have a few boxes and that's it. You are too young to have mail to forward, and you haven't been paying for utilities, so you don't have to cancel anything and provide forwarding addresses for more bills or credits. When you first leave home, you don't even think of such things. Maybe you have a car, and you think finding a parking place is your biggest worry.

As you age, the moving to-do list grows. Soon, you have four utility companies (give or take) to contact at both the old and new address. Some may want deposits and do background checks. At least half will require some strange and time-consuming step above and beyond a phone call. Additionally, as you grow older, for some reason you start using more than one bank, and thus, after being out of the house 14 years, I have four banks to contact to make new checks and change addresses. Then there are your government papers, titles, and deeds. If you are foolish enough to change states, maybe even two states if you are an experienced enough mover, all will need to be updated, some at more expense than others. These are but some of the hidden fees of moving.

The experienced mover also has multiple insurance policies for cars, rentals, trailers, life. It's tough to keep track of. I feel sorry for my heirs already.

None of this mental detritus includes the actual packing and moving of boxes, though it should be noted, the experienced mover tends to have thousands of more pounds of stuff than her 18 year old counterpart (no matter what her parents said about the state of her room). The actual packing is always emotional and I venture to say there is some psychological theory that might cover the five stages (the Five Stages of Moving). They include:

1. nostalgia: looking through things you forgot you had and lovingly wrapping them in bubble paper and securing them safely in a box
2. determination: packing things in an assembly line fashion into boxes that are room appropriate, including boxes for Goodwill or recycling or trash; the packing quailty decreases significantly. Some of these will arrive broken.
3. resentment: finding things you hardly use but continue to need, and tossing them haphazardly into a box; many of these will arrive broken; finding things you don't need and tossing them into a bag for Goodwill. These usually arrive at the donation center broken
4. denial: the period when you have packed only 80% of your things but are convinced you have finished. Packing stops; can include 1-2 weeks prior to move
5. panic: the 24-36 hours prior to move when you realize you aren't ready, physically or emotionally. You may or may not be able to pack during this time. What you do pack is all thrown in a box which you will never unpack after move. It contains things like CDs, wash clothes, magazines, hair clips, sponges, remote controls, silverware, socks, vacuum bags, unpaid bills, film, etc.

With all these steps, expenses, and roller coasters of emotion, it's no wonder we long to settle and stay put. Moving is hard. Staying is easy. Moving has more adventure. Staying has fewer anxiety dreams.

I'm somewhere between denial and panic. Most of my furniture is sold, and most of my cupboards are empty, but every horizontal surface is covered with miscellaneous crap. There will be a point when it all goes into one box, for better or worse. I should just face the music and do it, instead of sipping on this soda and typing in a pizza place.

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